


Seven Years

by chaotically_cas



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Gen, Song fic, maybe angst?, tw death, tw war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29890722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaotically_cas/pseuds/chaotically_cas
Summary: Song fic: seven years - Lukas graham
Kudos: 5





	Seven Years

Once I was seven years old, my mama told me to make yourself some friends or you'll be lonely

Ever since Soda and Pony came along I’ve felt responsible for them. Ever since I was a kid and I’d be rocking Ponyboy back to sleep or reading Soda his favorite book about some boyish thing. I remember my mom telling me ‘Now Darry, you have to remember to be a kid too’. And I tried. 

Once I was seven years old

I tried to remember that. But it was hard. With Pony always having his head stuck up in the clouds like dad and Soda not being able to sit still for a single minute like mom. It’s not that that’s a bad thing, really, it just meant I never really understood them. And they never really understood me. 

It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger, pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker

I did good in school. I played good football too. I was popular. I had a lot of friends. Still do sometimes, I guess. I was a good kid despite being a hood. You wouldn’t really know it if you looked at me when I was back in high school. Letterman’s jacket. Quarterback. Prom king. 

By 11 smoking herb and drinking burning liquor never rich so we were out to make that steady figure

Yeah me and Tim Shepard, among others, still got in our fair share of trouble. Stole cars. Got high. Took too many things to count. But I was still always ‘the closest thing a greaser will ever get to being a soc’, as Tim would say. Especially when I got into a decent college. 

Once I was 11 years old, my daddy told me go get yourself a wife or you'll be lonely

My dad was proud of me. I was the first person in my family to go to college. But I think he couldn’t help but being a little pushy because he still didn’t understand me. ‘You got yourself a good life Darrel, but you’ve got to live a little sometimes’ he would tell me after he took me to my first concert. 

Once I was 11 years old

And maybe that’s how come I am-was, a bit pushy with Ponyboy. Because I always looked up to dad. Or maybe because I looked up to Pony like dad did me. I didn’t want Pony to end up like the people that… I didn’t want Pony to end up like me. 

I always had that dream like my daddy before me so I started writing songs, I started writing stories

I told my dad this once when I was around eighteen. He told me ‘Darrel, if Pony ends up half as good as you did, I’ll be the luckiest man alive’. I’m a good kid. But I wanted Pony to be even better. And Soda was too far gone in being like mom that there wasn’t much hope for him, in a good way. 

Something about the glory, just always seemed to bore me cause only those I really love will ever really know me

But then they died and it felt like any hope I had for any of us completely had died with them. I tried my hardest not to cry at the funeral, in front of Soda and Pony. But good thing Tim Shepard could keep a secret. And even though I was going through one of the worst things a person could go through, I was ok. 

Once I was 20 years old, my story got told before the morning sun, when life was lonely

It was alright though, but not really. I remember feeling lonelier than ever. Soda and Steve were closer than they had been before. Pony had Johnny. Yeah I had a lot of friends and we all had each other. Always. But again, no one understood me. The only person I could think of that even began to understand me was Tim Shepard. 

Once I was 20 years old

And of course there was the week of the fire. I still don’t like to think or talk about that much. No one in Tulsa did. After it happened, most people decided to forget the whole thing ever took place. It made it feel like we had all imagined it sometimes. Until Pony’s theme came out of course. He was making something of himself. 

I only see my goals, I don't believe in failure, cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major

Pony and Soda kept encouraging me to go back to college. Pony offered to get three jobs. Even Steve and Two offered up something. I thought often about taking them up on their offers. More than I can tell. I wanted to make something of myself. It wasn’t really far I guess. ‘Darry, life isn’t fair. Never was. Never will be.’

I got my boys with me atleast those in favor and if we don't meet before I leave, I hope I'll see you later

So I stayed working hard to get Pony through school. Soda stayed helping too. And for a good while after that we were all getting along and going along good. Pony was doing better in school. His theme got a bit of attention around the school and we were all beginning to get on after everything that happened that year. 

Once I was 20 years old, my story got told I was writing 'bout everything, I saw before me

I read what Pony had written about me. About everyone. It got me to understanding him a good bit better, but if it confirmed anything for me, it was how much people really didn’t understand anything about me. Sure he didn’t make me look completely awful, and I guess even if he did that wouldn’t be for the worst. 

Once I was 20 years old

So that was a big reason why we all started getting along much better with each other. We didn’t argue much at all much more. We hardly got into it with the soc’s and stuff too. We knew better I guess. Everything was looking up and looking good in probably every sense of the word. 

Soon we'll be 30 years old, our songs have been sold we’ve traveled around the world and we're still roaming

And things stayed real good for a long while. Which was shocking to us all considering our usual luck. Pony got on the varsity track team and was doing real good. Steve and Two actually graduated high school. They both barely missed the drafts. Soda didn’t. 

Soon we'll be 30 years old

I remembered how our dad never talked about the war. He only showed us his uniform that once. But I could tell it had messed him up, who wouldn’t it. So yeah, you could say I wasn’t real keen on Soda going to war, to say the least. Sometimes I felt like failed the both of my kid brothers when it came down like that. 

I'm still learning about life my woman brought children for me so I can sing them all my songs and I can tell them stories

I didn’t meet anyone after that. I think Tim Shepard was the closest I ever got to something domestic, as weird as they may sound. Until one year in ‘73 when he was just up and gone. Never seen again. Never called. Everyone suspected he got picked up for something and was serving time, but there was something in my gut that told me differently. 

Most of my boys are with me some are still out seeking glory and some I had to leave behind, my brother I'm still sorry

It made me think about Dallas Winston and Johnny Cade. Men I considered brothers who died in very differently heroic ways. Johnny was a hero for saving all those kids but to me, Dallas was a hero for saving Pony. I never really got to thank him for that. 

Soon I'll be 60 years old, my daddy got 61 remember life and then your life becomes a better one

And now that I’m older I think back to all the things my dad told me before he died. About finding what you were living for. What you were loving for. And now that I’m older I find it ironic in a way that I ended up finding that balance in my life when he left it. I still think, maybe it was a gift from him. In a way. 

I made the man so happy when I wrote a letter once I hope my children come and visit, once or twice a month

Soda died in Vietnam after our parents died and after Dallas and Johnny died. I was there for Pony, like I always had been. But without Soda, we kind of drifted apart. We saw each other on holidays and birthdays and stuff but we could be like we were before. Especially without Soda. It felt like I had lost two brothers. 

Soon I'll be 60 years old, will I think the world is cold or will I have a lot of children who can warm me

I guess I am lonely now. I haven’t seen any of my ‘friends’ in a while. Not that I expected us all to grow old together, I just don’t remember when I started to grow old alone. But I guess I’ve always been alone in a way. To my family. To my friends. To myself. ‘Live a little, Darry, what’s the worst that could happen?’. A lot. 

Soon I'll be 60 years old

**Author's Note:**

> Not sure how I vibe with this yet but yolo


End file.
